Memories that don't fade

Its me back with another blogpost! A few days ago I was still blogging on a daily basis but kinda stopped since I was running out of inspirations and stuff to talk about. So today I'm just going to spill out my mixed feelings here. The social media isn't the safest and I guess this is the right place for me to talk about it.

I felt like breaking down and crumpling into smaller pieces and never fix myself back ever again. I read her blogpost. Apparently it was her diary in 2011. She talked about me, she talked about us and our friendship. It suddenly hit me right in the heart how much beautiful memories we had. We used to laugh at the teachers together, get depressed and sob on the floor while one of us will try to tickle the depressed ones, scream just because our favorite idols are back with new songs. Was it her who changed, or was it us? It doesn't matter now that those are just beautiful memories.

Memories that will stay till eternity.

We parted ways, we pinky promised to stay together till the end. But I guess promises are just white lies to cover up insecurities. 

Lies.

How many times have we said: I'll stay forever. How many times had we really kept that promise? It still occurred to me that everything was so blur and hazy. Mysterious even. When the warmth of my tears start to envelop my heart, it stung. 

It stung so badly.

Emotionally, or physically, I just felt like breaking a part. I was torn into pieces. I couldn't scream or cry. Was it empathy I felt or was it guilt. We never got back together. I wish we are still as close as before. I want to help her, I want to share more memories with her. Together, all of us, we can make a time machine and rewind, rewind back to the time we laughed, cried, screamed 

Together. 

I want to see you all again. Together we shall fix this, shouldn't we? hearts that couldn't be mended, hearts that were scarred with ugly and angry scratch marks. Will a simple sorry be enough? 

I'm sorry.