A dying rose

HELLO !! ^^ Went to sec 1 registration today . Really tiring T.T The school is actually quite a distance from my house and I really hate the fact that it takes about 40 minutes to arrive there even with a public transport . When I went there and heard that the lowest score accepted this year was 265 I was like : Holy mother of god . I'm barely a few marks away from those students . The once named ' the genius ' has actually dropped to this pathetic state in a sea of real genius . I can't see where I stand , I can't identify myself among the crowd . I no longer outshine the rest and can be proud and brag around with confidence . I'm not the top anymore . I'm now at the bottom .

To be exact , a nobody now . Pathetic right ? :)

I looked around with a blank look . The girls who are chatting like those housewives bargaining in a supermarket . The girls who have so much confidence . The girls who are even better than me . The girls who have their own circle of friends . The girls who would not even take a casual glance at me .

None .

I could only watch as each of them flaunted . I could only listen as they bragged around . I could only feel , the jealousy and bitterness when I see them . Their shadows covered me . Their feet stepped on me like a piece of trash ... I have no friends , no brains , no character . Just not perfect . What could I do ?

...

OKAY CUT ! That was pretty dramatic hahaha . Wasn't bad huh ? The situation isn't that exaggerating . I'm just fooling around lol . But really , the jealousy and bitterness and lost in this crowd . Friendless . No one would care about me .

So yeah .

I'm really anti-social . The real me lives on the internet tbh . I never dared to make new friends . I never dared to take a bigger and more treacherous step . I never dared to speak up for myself . I never dared to do anything .

So helpless . I wonder where would be my only hope of sunlight .

还会有一丝光正在等着我吗？还是我的人生就会是如此。没有英雄，没有援手，只有惨痛的死神正在等着我。

真的是如此吗？真的会这么悲哀吗？