Anew

After 8 months without blogging, I've decided to return to this solemn filled space. Not that I'm getting depressed like the past, but I guess I'm slowly getting used to everything and adapting to changes and people. Never really thought that a person could live in pure bliss and ignorance, without an experience of sadness that could have threatened to explode their veins and rushing through their blood. I have finally believed to accept it, instead of fighting it. After all, no one is able to escape from this cage of swirling emotions, that could have possibly burried us alive.

Life was stable and slow, in a sense that I (thought) have let go of past friendships that really held a special place in my heart. However, deep down I know if they would do something to savage it, I would have turned back in a split second. Unfortunately, I was always too cowardly and probably I'm the only one who has still clung onto that thin and light straw of hope. The pace is slow, but sometimes emotions hit me like a truck along a highway. I don't want to fight it vigorously like the past, it has already become a part of me. I don't struggle, because there is no point resisting what will last for an eternity, to everyone. However, I believed I have gained many meaningful  experiences that have filled in some of my life puzzles. I have to admit I still haven't opened up to anyone yet and possibly never will but that's okay because it doesn't matter already. I just have to focus on improving myself and becoming a person I've always strived to be. I'm slowly progressing and getting rid of my joker mask but it seems like I'm just becoming a more introverted and quiet person. 

Next year will be a whole new year, total new experience and environment. My goal is to have a simpler life but still persevere to achieve whatever I want. I want to become braver, more understanding, procrastinate less and do things I want without hesitation. Today is the last day of us being in the same class. Even though some people do piss me off a lot but I still sincerely wish everyone the best because this two years of memories have already slowly etched themselves into my heart. I have to say I'm grateful to everyone, for making me grow as a person, and weirdly, making me actually understand that everyone has a inner side of themselves we will never be able to uncover. 

我还是觉得交朋友需要将心比心，己所不欲勿施于人。如果我能真正成为一个有修养的人，那我真的会为自己感到庆幸与欣慰。毕竟我和体内的恶魔已经大都多年，当我回首的时候，那些黯然的陈年往事竟然还阵阵地刺痛我的心。我要挑战我的极限，不仅为家人朋友奋斗、更是要给自己一个交代。

向前冲刺吧，无畏的小孩！