When I started liking EXO, my bias wasn't you. My bias was only based on who's looks caught my attention first. Until about a month later, I was totally mesmerized by you. It was a shallow kind of like, its like, a normal fan like. I check updates sometimes, watch your interviews sometimes, smile over your new airport pictures. I never thought I'd actually be that into an idol, moreover, an idol like you.
You were tall and blonde back then. With a cold and charismatic aura around you. I've always liked how you present yourself, like a cold statue. That was a shallow kind of like, how I like your image because you're my kind of idol that I would stan. You look so beautifully craved, like a masterpiece made by god. I admired you, admired how you can speak so many languages, rap so well and at the same time, talk during awkward interviews.
When EXO started out afresh, you guys weren't like other groups. You guys were so shy on interviews and barely spoke. Under the constant stress of improving, you guys strived for the best. The most touching part, and the part of you that caught my attention, was your everything.
As the year went along, I noticed that you're actually not what you seem to be. You're tall and had a model-like appearance, but in actual fact, you're awkward and sincere.
You're bad with kids, and I love how you seem like you want to interact with them and make them happy but could only laugh in a weird manner when you see them. You're so bad at expressive yourself it's starting to make me feel: god, this man is adorable.
You're such a nice person, you often cared for the fans and even bought a luggage to put their gifts. The first thing that I thought was that, wow you're really considerate. You made the effort to take care of the fans' gifts and never took them for granted.
You're filial. You often said that you missed your parents and it made me go, aw, I want this kid to go bak to his homeland and visit his parents. You went back to Canada once and disappeared without a trace. Rumors were that you quitted SM and went to China to become an actor. However, no official news were made. I was so worried about you. When a fan reported seeing you at the airport, I cried. I never thought I'd cry so hard for a man I've never seen before, for a man I've never talked to, for a man who didn't know my existence.
When you went back to Canada, I could see that even thought you were surrounded by persistent fans, you didn't rudely dismiss them. You showed a disappointed face that made my heart ache so much. You didn't want to hurt the fans, did you?
When you held back your tears and yet people still joked about how cold-hearted you are, I was a little mad. I got mad at how people can't seem to notice your loveliness and how much of a dork you are. You're strong, and you keep things to yourself so much its worrying me. I want you to be happy, and happily ever after.
I've grown so attached to you, a man with a cute gummy smile, a man who had such burning passion for basketball, a man who never wanted to give up on his dreams, a man that no one could possibly dislike. It's starting to make me scared, scared that I've grown so attached to you but the feelings will just be too much for me to take.
I've toned down my spazzing over you already, and I really wish you can continue putting up that cheery face, that "arrogance" when you joked about being the second Picasso, the amused face when you see a toy helicopter and angry bird, the fatherly smile when Sehun pestered you for bubble tea. I'd never forget how lovely and perfect you are. And I hope you'll never forget that as well.
I may be just another fan among your dedicated bunch of supporters, but I promise I'll be here till the end, to witness your every single moments. I cherish your existence, and thank you, for being such a great role-model. I sincerely wish for all the best in your life, and may your love life blossom soon. I'm too young and its impossible for me to stay by your side, so I wish someone whom you truly love, and truly loves you, can stay by your side, and take care of you in our place <3
生日快乐，我的天使。:)
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