I screamed in agony,
I tore off the papers,
I cried.
This battle certainly wasn't what I asked for,
The amount of blood and tears shed wasn't what I asked for,
Tests, the worst thing ever.
Ahh, my block tests starts tomorrow T.T //silently crouches in a corner and cries// Well, so as you know, I've been flunking my subjects such as Geography since I stepped into my secondary school. And there! Tomorrow I already have two tests. I'm not even ready for this shit I swear. Damn. None of the informations and terminologies are going into my brains.
I cried,
The paper stared,
I bawled,
The paper stared,
Blank
I don't really know how to cope with this. Well in primary school, I use to be the top of the top. Every single year I get the too three. Now that I've entered a prestigious school, things don't get easy anymore. Pressure from everywhere. Tired. Sick. Angry. Solemn. Yeah thats pretty much me. I've really got no interesting stories in life to tell. My life isn't as melodramatic as the others. They have romance, love, friendship, family, careers, dreams to talk about. Me? Practically nothing. Guess I'll have to be in this way :<
Love, its something curious. Its something that makes you want to taste. Its something you've seen happening to the others. You can't wait to have your own. But what if yours is an one-sided love? Things get pretty bad. Your heart gets shattered into thousands of pieces when you see him/her with another. Smiling, just to cover up this love. I don't get it. If you wanna know how he/she feels, ask. At least you stand a chance of knowing how he/she feels about you. Is it the same heart thumping sounds? Is it the same sweaty palms? Is it the same gaze in their dark and attractive eyes? Is it the same as what your soul feels? You'll only get the answer by asking. If you don't do anything to help your pathetic state, there was no move made. Things remains pretty much the same.
If you're together, trust. Remember how you first felt around him/her? Remember how you both were madly in love with each other? Remember how the both of you do sweet things a couple does together? Think of the past. If you're quarreling over a small thing, think again. Is it worth it? You've came so far, you've come together as one, here you are easily breaking apart because of insecurity. If he/she doesn't love you, leave. Don't let any feeling linger. Don't let any hate linger. Don't. You need to put your own self into the other's shoes. All this love about is trust. If your relationship is shallow, the trust would be broken easily. It means this love is not worth protecting. Just think. And put in all your trust. If you really do.
Friends, what are they? The ones that notices your presence when they need something? The ones that will backstab you because of other benefits, the ones that are friends with you simply because you're a bridge, a connection to what he/she wants? Or one that you can spill all your feelings to, without feeling judged? Its all up to you to decide who are your real friends. Don't get angry if some people don't have replies you wanted when you converse, because it simply means both of you don't get along. Its like fire and water, you get what I mean? Yep. Friends, they are there when you need them. Friend, you are there when they need you. You do everything together. Get sad together. Get hyper together. All kinds of things just to make you feel comfortable and relaxed. Once you see a possible friendship potential, don't let it slip. Chances are rare. Grab them.
Family, they're whats gonna last forever, unlike love and friendship. The blood bond will always be there. Blood is thicker than water. No matter how much you dislike them, you'd come to a realization you loved them more than anything when something happens. Appreciate what you have, before you appreciate what you had. For me, I put family first, over friendship and love. Even if you put in a lot of love that you can't even quit, you'd never get hurt, you're a family, you're one. For love and friendship, if the bond is not strong enough, eventually it shatters and breaks. However if too much feelings is put it, you'll find yourself crying yourself to sleep, wishing everything will go back to it use to be.
Ok I'm being a life morals guru here lmao. But I'm saying what I think okay :) Oh and by the way, I deleted my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I'll install them back after my block tests. Ugh distractions. //toss phone out of window// haha I'm being lame. Have a nice day! :)
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