Back from camp

HELLO ! I'm back from my LSC camp in school :) Feeling quite glad to be home right now but part of me wants to go back to school , curls into a ball and continue sleeping like there's no tomorrow . Gonna start on my homework and revision for my block test soon :D Gambatte and hope I'll stop procrastinating and being so bad tempered already .

So during LSC, we had dragon boat on the first day . It was scorching hot but we had fun splashing the reservoir water at the other boats. We named ourselves Potatoes and the other half of the class Tomatoes. Since I'm sitting at the front I got splashed like 10 times by the pails T^T It was pretty fun and enjoyable except that my hands were aching like mad when I got home.

Day two hmmm ... We did heritage tour. So we had to find stations with the clues and then find out more about our school's history . I feel happy to be able to contribute to one of the questions in the history quiz :> But we were running everywhere so I was like walking all the way while the others are running like rockets. It was unexpectedly fun but again, tiring .

Then the third day is our residential camp yaaay *throws confetti* We did inter-class games and there's floorball, volley ball and captains ball. I took volley balm and our team got second even though I only helped in one match. Then one of the girls on my team was like : you also never do anything! Then I'm like : MEHHH . Don't really bother to care at least I contributed something that means I'm not a freeloader (?) in the afternoon we did team games and we just had to run and run and run and I gave up and wriggled into the sleeping bag after returning to the classroom. Our mascot is like.... Uhm unsightly somehow. Its distorted D:

And that night there's the movie night ( yaaaay ) I didn't really watch the full movie because I was lying on the floor of the hall together with some friends and talking about other stuffs. I love the atmosphere <3 Its like peaceful and comfy :3 the movie was really nice and there's a lot of sweeeeeeet moments.

Thursday, we spent the day practicing for our class performance. Guess what I cried because I was so frustrated when I'm part of the dancer troupe but they won't pay any attention to me and teach me the dance steps. Ugh so I just gave up. I returned to the classroom after going to the toilet. My form teacher don't even care about me anymore ( ughhhhh ) . But some peeps still realized I'm sad and they provided me tissues and hugged me, giving me words of encouragement with some hilarious comments. Feel so touched I cried again so they have to keep taking tissues for me ( LOL xD )

The performance was quite badly done but anyway we tried our best. Oh by the way, the one third ( which is 2 people ) asked me if I was okay. At least they still have some empathy but the others don't even care and just stare at me. Can't care more about them but they were complaining about the dance and how they're annoyed. I could feel that they wanted to cry as well but well, almost all of them cried before :X so yep I was happy when I finally saw my dad in the night and every time I thought about how my dad will be there and if I cry , how sad he will feels . So I tried to put up a smile and didn't tell him anything about it . Just said I was happy & tired. Its a lie but a white one isn't it :)

Friday, which is today, we packed our luggage and did area cleaning. Our group was watching the school ( next to ours ) sports meet and basically jeering a lot , like A LOT . But they can't hear us cause we're like so far away. But I saw their sprint! Quite awesome though ^.^ anyways , the camp gave me a mixed feeling but I have to be happy from now on because apparently even if you're depressed it doesn't help and nobody does anything to help you. They have their own business to mind so yep, BE HAPPY :)

Its like 11 PM here , good night! And thank you the previous anonymous who commented on my post . REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR KINDNESS . I hope I'll cheer up more and look on the bright sight of the life . After all , a rainbow only appears after a thunderstorm :D

Troubled

Hello, nobody will probably see this but I'm still gonna let out all my feelings and thoughts here instead of bottling them up and keeping them to myself.

It hurts to do so.

So well, basically I feel so left out, hurt, ostracized, stereotyped, judged in school. I'm alone all by myself. Nobody likes me and some even spat at me at times using sarcasm. Maybe they don't realize this hurts me but I must say it still hurts like hell. I think a lot of people are experiencing the same thing as me and those of you who are reading this will be like : ugh suck it up bimbo, you're not special or anything, attention seeker.

But really, I do need to voice this fuck out if not I'll be really super depressed. I'll assume that someone is reading this and caring for me silently even if I'm cheating myself. Its a white lie :)

My classmates (don't specify who) already have their own clique. They seldom talk to me unless they need something. Some of them are so stuck up at times I can't stand them even though I know they don't mean it, not on purpose. But I feel really solemn in the heart. Physically, mentally, literally the whole class is hurting me indirectly. What have I done to deserve this both in secondary school and primary school? Even tuition centre. Nobody likes me so I cry everyday either alone in class or in the middle of the night when everyone thinks that I'm sleeping peacefully.

I don't even tell my soft toys what is happening I just cry with them and hug them tightly. They're my only friends I can rely and trust. Especially this person (sorry I'm not gonna say her name). I don't know why she has been so cold to me, basically just ignoring me on purpose and I realized I'm the only person she's treating like this. She pretends to be friendly and say : awww I love you <3 but deep in her heart she doesn't mean it. What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them? Lies, lies, lies. I feel betrayed.

She's just against me in everything and leaving me out of things. I bet some of my classmates gather together and gossip about me behind my back. This has previously happened to this girl in my class and I joined in as well, ignorant as fuck. She was ostracized, left alone without friends and I fell really bad. Its not entirely her fault and I wanted to be her friend. However this gang I've been talking to continued bad mouthing her and I was like, I'm gonna mood-swing and ditch you all but I'm not talking to this girl as well. Really bad of me huh? Making both sides hurt by sitting on the fence.

Then eventually, the bad thing landed on me. I was treated the same as the previous girl but what is worse is that my "friends" still throw me some sentences at times. I don't need your pity I'm not a beggar, I need friends. I treat friendship more importantly than love.

What if I can't juggle both properly? I mess up my kinship as well. I've been treating my parents with disrespect and they're apparently disappointed in me. I can't help it but cry. What have I done to get this? I feel ... Lost .

Someone help me .

Birthday Bash

KONNICHIWA ! Okay so there's a special event today :) That is my classmates celebrated my birthday & made a surprise party during recess today <3 AWWW SO SWEET .

Firstly in the morning , I received birthday presents like EXO iPhone Button Sticker , Pencil case , Pouch , Sticky ( <3 ) , 2 b'day cards , a file and PIGLEEEET EEEEP xD . I feel really shocked and touched by their actions . To be honest , in my past six years , only around 2 best friends would be kind and thoughtful enough to buy me birthday presents .

Oh the irony . Classmates for six years : Not even a simple birthday wish . Classmates for barely one month : B'day surprise party , a handful of presents , beautiful hand-made cards , self-made cake (OMG !! <3) , tons and tons of b'day wishes & hugs .

So we smashed birthday cake ( especially cream ) on each other's faces . Of course I'm the most targeted one and ended up getting cream all over my face and some on my hair even . I really wanted to cry and say thank you to everyone , but I just couldn't . And I don't know why . Although I may have a stone-like face , I'm actually bursting with happiness inside :) I REALLY APPRECIATE THESE , GUYS !

After school we stayed behind and did our CNY classroom decorations . It was pretty messy and tiring but enjoyable and fun . We went out to watch the SJAB practice and were imitating them ( naughty kids huh ) . And there was the lion dance troupe and we were literally squealing at the cute little lions . Kekekekekeke .

Then I went home and was totally worn out . My back and arms are aching like hell . And I'm quite sleepy right now .


CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TURNING 14 TOMORROW ;)

Its Monday tomorrow

Hi ! Nothing really out of the ordinary this weekend , so I'm gonna briefly say some stuffs and move on to my INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH :D

So yesterday night , my father insisted on bringing me out . I had to agree even though I was unhappy about the idea . I just hate the outside world a lot . A LOT . Call me anti-social or whatever , but I'm just that way sometimes I even feel uncomfortable breathing in the fresh air . First off , we went to my uncle's house . Even though he did not reprimand me , I could see from his facial expressions that he was upset and angry at me for not visiting them for ages . Hey , its not like I have nothing better to do right ? You don't even understand how busy I was all the while in school suffocating in the whole load of homework waiting for me to finish them .

After that , we went to CWP to shop for my CNY clothes . I LOATHE SHOPPING FOR CNY CLOTHES GRR . It took quite a long time before we picked out two outfits . A 3/4 sleeve sweat dress , a 3/4 sleeve sweat tunic and leggings pants . They're comfortable but I dislike wearing dresses . It makes me uncomfortable :( But my mother was really against these two outfits because its kind of like ... The clothes worn in autumn . So she bought me out today morning to shop for new clothes . She first picked out a dress and its like for those age ranging from 15-30 or something but dude , I'm freaking 13 . So my mother was against the idea and left that shop . She wanted to buy me jeans shorts but I'm really uncomfortable wearing shorts because it will expose my legs . I feel weird wearing shorts hmph :< . So she gave up the idea of purchasing new clothes for me .

Today I'm slacking for the 192839392109128th time :( Lazing around and not moving my ass is becoming me hobby . Will be doing my homework tonight bleh :p

NOW *drum rolls* ... ITS INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH TIME ! :D

I've always wanted to be born with a silver spoon . If I was rich , impossible will not exist in my dictionary . Money can do a lot of things even though it isn't anything . Money is something powerful that could turn man against each other for GREED . Yes , the words "Money can't buy everything" are hung on everyone's mouth every single day . Action speaks louder than words . But have anyone ever showed the true meaning to this phrase ? No . So why bother to say it just to make you look "beautiful" and not materialistic then ? Everyone is , isn't it ? I am not afraid to admit that yes , I love money . Who doesn't ? If you say you don't , transfer all your money to my bank now (LOL xD) .

If you have money , you'll definitely get a lot of advantages for that . Like when you're young , you will get many tutors so that you will find out your talents way faster than normal people and then build on it . Even if you fail , you can still excel in studies isn't it ? You won't be worried over things like "Hey , what if I don't have enough money for lunch ?" And stuffs like that . You could get whatever you want . You could be a spoilt brat but one day you have to learn how to stand up , how to be independent , how to be as successful as your parents . They will be your role model , giving you inspirations everyday . Its just ... Amazing to be rich . Sometimes I still do whine and complain . Why weren't my parents rich and as successful as the others ? Why ? I would place all the blame on them and cry . Why couldn't they be like that ? Is it that difficult ? Jealously would run through my veins , spreading like wild fire . I'm not being filial , I'm being an ungrateful bastard who will not appreciate the wonderful things I have in my life . I have a caring mother , a devoted father , a warm and comfy house . I have dozens of friends , a couple of enemies , enough money to survive for the week . Yes I may not be a smart ass , neither am I talented , but I'm just me right ? :)

So I really hope people will appreciate the things you have . Sometimes don't always look at the bad side . Think of the advantages as well ^^

End of today's inspirational speech goodbye !

Is this what you've been waiting for ? Brand new blogpost !

KONNICHIWA . Long time no see , my dearest blog :) Sorry for not updating for weeks , I was extremely busy and was having hectic schooldays , trying my best to shake off the 'holiday mood' . Haha , its really tiring in my new school . Probably because this school is the top school and it expects a lot from the 'smart' students there :p

Beware , this post will get boringly long . But it'd be nice to post all my past weeks here :) It's a brand new experience so of course I'll have more to talk right ?

Firstly , I thought that the school had all those smart-asses and thought I was no longer the big fish in the small pond . Actually my class had around the same score as me and all of them are pretty intelligent , and well inquisitive ( which was good ^^ ) . Overall the class is fairly awesome and friendly . Its like everyone is already a big family of 34 girls coming together , doing silly things together , looking out for one another and also , rebel against the teachers xD

Of course , I don't have to remind you that in a class , there will be always a bitch . Or an unlikable one . Well it isn't an exception for my class either :( But she is actually kind of nice when you get to know her more . Just that I dislike her attitude , thats all , don't misunderstand me ! D:

Our class is pretty much the most notorious one in the entire level . We blast music in class , we create a ruckus which most teachers are not able to stand but thats us . We like most of the teachers teaching us since they'll always joke with us , and sometimes act funny with us :D Like yesterday , we had a Math Quiz which was graded . When the teacher carried a stack of worksheets and walked outside our class , at the corridor , we whined so loudly , enough to let our seniors at the opposite block to hear . The Math teacher was stunned for a whole , then smiled and pretended not to notice us and walked past our classroom ( Good huh ? ) We immediately cheered even though we know in heart that she would come back . Upon seeing her do a u-turn , the entire class' mood sank again .

And there was this teacher . He mentioned this sentence which I remembered vividly since it was ... Unusual ? Unique ? Funny ? Lol . He said this : Just like some people like it hard while some like it soft . Oh my god , the entire class burst out in laughter instantly and commented " THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG xD " It sure sounded really wrong . If you get what I mean /wink wink/

The canteen food was delicious and mouth-watering . However the prices are totally unbearable to see . It could burn a hole in our pocket even if we solely bought a meal . So tadaaa , my pocket money raised :D Theres the western stall , the Japanese stall , the noodles store , snacks store ( which sold waffle and ice-shake ) , another snack store which sold ice-cream , milk tea , ice milo and all kinds of bottle drink . Not to forget the scrumptious bean curt ( am I making you drool ? Haha )

There are vending machines too . There's a special sandwich machine which would take your order and 90 seconds of preparation before the piping hot sandwich comes ready . Yumyum :p It taste kind of good but the price is totally /shivering/ . Haha , theres also a mini popular store near the sandwich machine :) Not to forget there are swings located at the ground floor of the school and usually its occupied :( Its very popular .

A three-story high library is located at the second floor of the school near the auditorium . The books are of wide variety with genres ranging from reference books to fairy tales . Its an extremely good and suitable place for students to study and do their homework after school :) It has a quiet environment with air-conditioner .

Sometimes we stay in class during recess , chiong-ing our homework or obsessed with playing our phones . We do stupid stuffs there too , like drawing random things on the whiteboard . And the duty roster never does their job . Well , to be specific , barely :( When people have to eat and do their homework at the same time , they "da bao" food upstairs and do their homework outside the classroom , where a table is conveniently located there .

My group is really fun and the noisiest group in class and we get scoldings pretty often T.T Haha and today N & I scribbled random stuffs and words on C's paper . N drew EXO logo while I drew some random pictures and wrote some words on C's paper . C pretended to be angry and mad at us while we continued to scribble the words . She threatened to tape away the words since we're occupying the space for her working xD

I still miss my primary six group though . We were the group that produces the most amount of laughter in class . Even during group work where all our classmates were serious and silent , doing their work , we were laughing like crazy just over a simple and random joke and the other groups first look at us weird and starts laughing at the same time . I could proudly say our group is the most bonded one in my opinion . Of course the others would think that their group is the best but whatever . I'm so mean haha :p

Hope I'll see them on CNY ! :)

First day of school

Okay this is a terrifying and ultra horrible and touching story . LOL just kidding . Today reported to secondary school as a new student . I'm still not familiar with the school so I walked a whole big around at the school block before finding my way to the general office . So after checking which class I'm in , I proceeded to the hall and then you know the long-winded welcome speech by the principal and the school values and other stuffs ( dozing off to sleep already) .

And then we went back to our respective classrooms and were notified about out new form teachers . There are two . Okay . Never mind . So there was this twin in our class and they were actually quite responsive to the teachers' questions and they kind of volunteered to do something . Then we went one by one introducing ourselves to the new classmates .

Then I realized my class is damn shy . They speak so softly omg . I ca barely hear them e___e . Then we went to do some stupid games which probably would only be played in primary school or kindergarden . Next the student leaders came to our classrooms and lead us down to the canteen for our recess .

I didn't eat anything because the queue was really long and the canteen is packed with people . Well , another reason is that I have no friends so I would rather not eat than eat alone . That feeling is really painful in school . Of course not including coffee shop . During recess , forms were collected and then we proceeded for our amazing race .

So this race is quite idiotic you just have to complete the games at each of the five stations and do out own cheer (like seriously , class cheer. OTL) . But it was still pretty fun but awkward since no one broke the ice :( After this , which was totally ripping off my entire body energy , we then went to hear some speech and blah blah blah ... Boring >.> Because it was so comfortable I almost fell asleep but kelt my eyes wide open because the speech might end at anytime .

After our lunch break (I didn't eat anything AGAIN) , we are dispersed and went to see the CCA fair . I didn't know how did I picked up my courage and joined two girls who were still quite awkward with each other . Together the trio , we went to tour around the fair , getting halted by persistent seniors who will either use their amazing bargaining skills to talk us poor little naive juniors to sign up at their booth or simple drag us to their booth .

Well , the three of us signed up for 2 similar CCA auditions and each one of us took an extra CCA audition each :) We hit off pretty well and soon started chatting . After we got tired , we decided to pick up our bags from our classrooms and left the school when it wasn't even dismissal yet (Yeah , rebellious kids) .

This must have been fate . The three of us happen to go home by bus and we crossed the overhead bridge and waited at the bus-stop . Two of us shared the same bus while the other is taking a different bus . During the long waiting , we talked to each other about our interest and THIS IS CONFIRMED TO BE FATE : One of them likes Anime & Japanese (Like me) and the other is into k-pop (YAH THATS MEH :D) .

So we three bid farewell when the bus came . It was a pretty good experience to know more friends however , I'm afraid I cannot cope with these load of subjects as well as homework . Well , this is life , isn't it ?

Tomorrow I'll have two auditions . So wish me all the best alright :) Hopefully I have the potential /smiles sarcastically/ I realized how much I miss my ex-classmates . I didn't know how to treasure our good friendship and we quarrel often :( I really miss my best friend (IF SHE IS IN THE SAME SHCOOL AS ME MY LIFE IS GOD DAMN PERFECT T.T) as well as my split cards maniac group and not to forget , the GAMBLERS xD I WILL PLACE ALL THESE GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES OF US PERMANENTLY IN MY HEART :')

Goodbye Primary School , Hello Secondary School ^^

The dark shadows are overcasting

Its night time , around 10.30PM . I have to sleep early because I need to wake up at 5.15 . Oh my poor sleep :'( . I'll miss freedom ~ /sobs waterfalls/

Will be updating about secondary school orientation tomorrow . Good night ^^