I find myself losing interest in my hobbies, such as drawing. I've always been happy and excited about holding a simple 2B pencil and doodling away whatever comes into my mind onto a piece of random paper. I drew away my sorrows, I drew away my doubts. I've always been convincing myself that I was improving in this aspect but recently I find myself getting angered and irritated by whatever I drew. Nothing looked right in my eyes, honestly. The proportions of people were wrong, I couldn't draw hands, arms, legs, faces. I even find that my old drawings were much better than now, and it is utterly depressing. I teared papers into shreds and get frustrated, dumping all of them into trash cans until I realise they're filled up till the bim. I feel devastated, I feel lost, I don't know what to do and I just feel like a total failure not being able to accomplish the simplest thing I was expected to do.
Activities are pilling up, homeworks and assignments come crashing one after another, quizzes are endless and lessons bored me till death. I feel like dozing off in class, and I often couldn't wake up from the rewarding tiny naps I take. A day feels like a year, and even my friends feel like they're suffocating me. I want to abstain from any socialisation and calm myself for a period of time. Because I don't want to continue crying days after days without knowing why, and instilling the mindset that I can't achieve anything with my abilities. I am devastated. I can't breathe. I am lost. And I want to find myself again.
